Hospital TV

I think about 75% of television is complete crap.  Now, don’t get the wrong idea; I’m no elitist who looks down his nose at the television viewing population.  I enjoy all kinds of TV; but with 300 channels I still find it hard to find good shows.  That’s why my wife and I are captains of the DVR.  We record our favorites and watch them when “live” TV has nothing good to offer.

Hospital television is even worse.  You get about 15 channels, half of which have bad reception and 3 versions of PBS. . .awesome. 

I don’t have the best relationship with hospital television.  It ruined “Christmas Story” for me!  Yes, the love-able tale of a kid’s burning desire to get a Red Ryder BB gun for x-mas, the one where his friend gets his tongue stuck to the pole; I can’t watch it now. I had the misfortune to spend the Christmas of 2002 in the hospital after a near fatal car accident.  After I got out of a 2 day coma I was subjected to “24 Hours of Christmas Story” on TBS.  Alternating between states of utter agony and morphine induced delusions and having no way to change the channel; the sights and sound of that cinematic wonder will be associated with feelings like having a catheter removed (I hear it’s worse going in!), chocking on my breathing tube and having 4 IVs in me. . .

That being said, I was holding my sleeping daughter while mom took a much needed nap and sheer boredom forced me to turn on the TV.  I flipped through the channels until I was amazed to find that not only did they have the American Movie Classics channel, but the Godfather was playing!

I couldn’t believe my luck!  Even in it’s edited cable TV version the Godfather is one of the best movies ever made.  I have been a fan since I had my wisdom teeth removed at 15 and my buddy Robbie brought me the trilogy to watch while recouping.  Up to this point the best thing I had watched in the hospital was “The Price is Right” (and let’s be honest w/o Bob Barker it’s not as good).

Around this time my little girl started waking up and after a quick diaper change (which I am getting damn good at) we both settled back in to watch the struggles of the Corleone family.  I took this time to explain to her the nuances of this masterpiece.  The cinematography, the acting, the lighting, trivia facts (”Reagan, did you know the cat in Don Corleone’s arms in the first scene wasn’t planned?  A cat from the set wandered in and Brando just picked it up and went with it.”)

My daughter was so entralled with my lecture on why this is one of the greatest things ever put on celluloid that she just couldn’t take it anymore and had to let a big yawn and fall back to sleep.

Well played little one, but you won’t be able to escape from my lectures that easily forever. . .


3 Responses to “Hospital TV”
  1. Super Mega Dad says:

    Can never get them introduced to The Godfather early enough.

    Now if you can just get Star Wars piped in there…

  2. Adam says:

    Oh Star Wars is it’s own lecture series all together. But how do I explain that Lucas dropped the ball and completely f’ed up the prequels?

  3. Otter Thomas says:

    I am glad there are others out there that will pass down the classics to their kids. I love the Godfather. Greatest movie ever.

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