The Big Ultrasound

Ever play pong?  Yeah, the original home video game that consists of a ball being bounced between two paddles.  That was my wife on the subject of whether or not to find out the sex of our baby during the ultrasound at 20 weeks.  First it was yes, then no, then I would find out and not tell her, then I would find out and decorate the babies room and pad lock it (?) so she couldn’t find out, then no, then yes.  Back and forth, back and forth for weeks.  The entire time I knew she would have to know, so I just smiled and nodded until she finally landed on “Yes”.

I have said from the minute I found out about the pregnancy that our baby was going to be a girl.  See, up until pretty recently I was a raging asshole to women in my life.  I made huge mistakes, acted very inappropriately and did not care too much about the ramifications of my actions.  In the process I hurt the feelings of women from my past who cared a lot about me and did a lot of emotional damage.  I knew there is no way that Karma wouldn’t let all of that just go by without some sort of cosmic balancing.  And truth be told I owe a debt that can never be repaid.  So I see it as only fitting that I have a daughter for my first.  Chances are I will have all girls!

On the other hand my wife said it was a boy.  She “just had a feeling” and some dreams that convinced her.  I know, very scientific methods used by both of us.  Not to sound cliche, but despite whatever we thought we just hoped for a healthy baby.  I’d be happy with either sex and so would she.  My wife and I sat in a darkened room, watching a tv screen while the ultrasound tech took all of the measurements for our little one.  We got to see the baby’s feet, hands, face (which looks like a skeleton) spine etc.  Finally, the tech said “So, do you want to know the sex now”  Yes!! The suspense was killing us both (and she knew this so I think she was messing with us a bit).

She rotated the ultrasound wand and an undiscernable grey blob appeared on the screen.  “See those three white dots?  Those are herlabia forming”.  OH SHIT I AM GOING TO HAVE A DAUGHTER! And ewww, I don’t want to hear about her labia.  My daughter doesn’t have women parts and isn’t going to date until she’s 30. 

My wife erupted in tears!  She had secretly been routing for a girl  and only claimed it was going to be a boy just so she would “win” either way.  I love my wife; she cracks me up!

So without further ado:  Here is my daughter!

One Response to “The Big Ultrasound”

  1. [...] be weirded out by things like this right?  Well, I am damn it!  Just like during the Big Ultrasound and the tech started talking about my daughter’s labia. . .ewww!!  Again, I’d like to [...]

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