You’re Not Pregnant

Not every month, but close, my wife thinks she is pregnant.  She might not even be late but she sees signs of an imminent infant everywhere.  Usually, we go through about a week of her telling me she thinks it's real this time, I calm her down, she takes a pregnancy test and it's all over.  I think her brain releases some sort of chemical that tells her womanly parts its OK to have her period, only after we have spent $$ on pregnancy tests.  Many a dollar and nervous ten minutes have been spent on this issue.

June came around and the same old song and dance got going.  "Just like last month, you're not pregnant," I assured her.  She swore this time it was real.  I've heard it all before, so no worries.  Curious about her hypothesis I found a list of Pregnancy Symptoms:

  1. Swollen/Tender Breasts: Check.  Her number one complaint
  2. Fatigue/Tiredness: Check.  Usually I'm the one pushing for laying on the couch all day.
  3. Nausea/Morning Sickness:  Check.
  4. Backaches: Check.  But she usually has these.
  5. Headaches: Check.
  6. Frequent Urination: Check.
  7. Food Cravings: Check.  We made a dozen trips to Dairy Queen in a week.
  8. Implantation Bleeding: No
  9. Delay/Difference in Menstruation: No
  10. Darkening of Areolas: No

"OK I think I believe you" I IM'ed her.  7 out of 10 was enough to make me a believer, but the thing about this site is that it gives "other explanations" for every symptom.  I could see an alternate explanation working for 1 or two symptoms, but 7?  No way.  There's only one way to tell. . . 

Test #1: Negative.  I had been thinking non-stop about what it would be like to have a little one.  When it came back negative, I have to admit I was a bit bummed.  I had gotten used to the idea of me being a dad.

Test #2: Negative.  It's been a week since the first test.  OK, this isn't happening. Two tests is enough to convince me.  I chalked it all up to her "pregnancy hypochondria" and was amazed she was able to convince me too!

The human mind has an unlimited ability to come up with theories and then seek out evidence to support them.  Even a doubter such as myself is not immune to being caught up in a frenzy of speculation.  I guess you just have to chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. . .

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